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You’ve heard the saying: “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” So…how honest are you?
If a friend asked your opinion on her new haircut, his sports performance, her outfit, his new girlfriend…would you tell the truth—or a little white lie to avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation?
“Expert” opinion
If you chose the white lie, you’re not alone. In her article “The Truth About Lying,” author Julie Mehta writes that social experts are apparently in agreement that little white lies are “acceptable and even necessary for people to keep up good relationships” (Current Health 1, March 2008, pp. 12-15). Child psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Berger of Indianapolis, Indiana, considers the little white lie “more humane” than the utter truth (ibid.).
Though Ms. Mehta gives good advice on why lying in general should be avoided, her opinion on little white lies raises an eyebrow: “Life experience and talking to friends and family will help you figure out when telling a ‘little white lie’ is OK” (ibid.).
Significant stats
Yet parents and experts alike were shocked when the Josephson Institute revealed its 2008 Report Card on “The Ethics of American Youth.” In a random sampling of 30,000 high school students across the United States, 42 percent confessed to lying on occasion to save money and 83 percent admitted to lying to a parent about “something significant.”
Why are these statistics so surprising? After all, the supposed authorities on teen behavior are telling teens that in some situations lying is acceptable. And teens as well as adults are still trying to figure that out.
In need of clarity
Why so much confusion on this topic? Experts are confused. Parents are confused. Celebrities are confused. Professional football players are confused. Corporate leaders are confused. And, clearly, our politicians are also confused.
Pack of lies
And so people lie.
They lie: to avoid conflict, to justify an action, to avoid hurting feelings, to make themselves feel better or make someone else feel worse, to avoid punishment, because it’s easier, because they can, because they think it’s funny. The list goes on and on.
Lying might save your friends’ feelings in the short term, but what about in the long term after they discover that you’ve been dishonest with them? Is that worth the pain and the breach of trust in the relationship?
The root of the matter
What does God say about lying? We’ve consulted every other “expert” out there on human relations, but shouldn’t we consider God’s Word first and foremost? He does know what makes life work, after all.
God lists seven things that He hates. As one translation renders it—He finds these things “detestable” (Proverbs 6:16-19, New International Version with emphasis added). They are:
- Haughty eyes.
- A lying tongue.
- Hands that shed innocent blood.
- A heart that devises wicked schemes.
- Feet that are quick to rush into evil.
- A false witness who pours out lies.
- A man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
Note that lying is listed twice.
I don’t know about you, but when God says He hates something, I pay attention. And when He repeats Himself, I pay even more attention.
Notice that God doesn’t say that He hates lying…unless it might hurt someone’s feelings to tell the truth or for whatever reason “experts” say is okay! In fact, there simply is no biblical justification for little white lies.
To learn more about how to be lovingly truthful with your friends, read “Friends Don’t Let Friends…”
The solution is to practice pure, sincere and honest speech. You’ll reap the rewards, gain the trust—and that’s no lie. VT
- About the Author -
Debbie Pennington is an Ambassador Bible Center 2000 graduate and an alumna of Ohio State University and Indiana University. She and her husband, Guye, attend the United Church of God in Bloomington/Normal, Illinois.
Stuff is out to take over your life! If you let it, that is.
It doesn’t take long to figure out that the stuff we own can become unmanageable. Think about how much of your week was spent attending to the needs of your stuff—both material and e-stuff (electronic stuff).
Our buy-now society sustains itself by gorging on a daily intake of stuff, and it causes us consumerism-induced heartburn. The prescription chosen by some is to go in the opposite direction toward a life of minimalism and simplicity.
Hold the stuff, please
What motivates minimalists to become conscientious have-nots? Some have a background in the modern green movement and environmentalism. Stuff takes a bunch of energy and raw materials to make and discharges pollution and garbage in the process. Their logic is basic supply and demand: Buying less stuff causes demand to plummet, leading to the manufacture of less stuff.
Others simply become choked by material things and look for ways to manage the amount of stuff in their lives and homes. Several bloggers have fought back with creative ways to combat stuff.
One such effort called the 100 Thing Challenge, recently garnered the attention of Time magazine. The challenge is to live for one year by paring down the stuff you personally own to 100 things or less. The self-proclaimed mission of this blogger is to “challenge stuff and fight consumerism.”
Is stuff contagious?
Several books, movies and Web sites now champion a break with rampant consumerism. One popular TV special with its own Web site by the same name is Affluenza. It suggests that our society’s addiction to keeping up with the Joneses is akin to a disease. It offers diagnosis, treatment and a way of escape. One definition offered for “affluenza” is “an epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by a dogged pursuit of the American Dream.”
Is living a life of simplicity or minimalism the real answer to consumerism? There’s plenty of good advice about slowing down and living a simpler life, but does it address the underlying problem?
Are you content?
What does God say about stuff and its rightful place in our lives?
Much of the problem resides in our underlying attitude and emotional attachment to the latest and greatest things on the market. Yet when we get all that stuff we want, it’s never enough. We’re never content.
Contentment is a biblically sound tool for overcoming excessive wants and desires. Paul was an apostle of God who learned the lesson of contentment and shared what he learned with us. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:12, New International Version).
So what is this secret?
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (verse 13). The secret is a paradigm shift from a focus on things (stuff) toward a focus on our Lord and Creator. That basic shift can transform us.
Jesus Christ knows what we need and promises to take care of those needs. We don’t have to run after the latest things like the masses of humanity around us. Read Matthew 6:25-34 for more details. And check out “A Beautiful Vertical Mind” to learn more.
Don’t let stuff control your life. Attack it with a healthy dose of divine contentment. VT
- About the Author -
Hansel New and his wife, Rachelle, both graduates of Ambassador Bible Center, are raising their two young children near Eugene, Oregon, where he works as a quality control expert.
